fusiongtr είπε:
Κι όμως Νάσο, αν θυμάσαι σου είχα πει πέρυσι ότι φοβάμαι για κάτι τέτοιο.
Σκατά να βγάλει ο στόμας μου.
Το μήνυμα του παλιόφιλού του
Gary Husband νομίζω τα λέει όλα για τα τελευταία χρόνια του Allan:
"Yesterday I received the most devastating news of the passing of my spiritual and musical brother Allan Holdsworth. And along with that news came the realisation I had now witnessed the conclusion of the last chapter of probably what will always be known by me as the most significant musical relationship of my life. The journey that began in the later 1970s in a studio in London - a first time ever trial playing situation for us - where time and space seemed to evaporate and give vent to suddenly this otherworldly, uncannily effortless, intense communication and empathy of the nature and height I could have only dreamt possible. I remember wondering afterwards, as we were packing our gear, if we'd ever reach that again or even get to play together once more.
And it did. And we did. And though the albums IOU, Metal Fatigue, Atavachron, Sand, Wardencliffe Tower, Then, Hard Hat Area etc, that serve to document the handful of decades we were able to develop together, I have vivid memories, still, of the experiences of many incredible improvisational musical heights together, in many live settings, of the kind I will not experience the like of again.
With Allan I had the invitation to literally invent. I knew it was totally unique music. Yet strangely it was music I felt - almost as naturally as if it had come through me.
The unique harmony, the unique signature pushes & pulls in tempo, the pauses and the inherent rubato, up alongside all the straighter grooves that all felt so completely natural to me I was mystified at so much of the confused reaction the music provoked in people. I had no idea why it was regarded convoluted, complex or unusual.
So not only was this the most comfortable playing situation for me I also was afforded the luxury to approach and form all drum approaches to the pieces from my own imagination. Occasionally I'd come up with something, and I'd quickly know if it wasn't an instant success. But mostly it was. And little was said, virtually nothing ever rehearsed, and it just all got recorded that way and performed that way while expanded upon live.
IOU was to essentially document as good as possible version of pieces we had been performing for a good while. But from Unmerry-Go-Round - the wonderful piece where I worked alongside Allan to form the rhythmic structure - it was about an approach to drum composition - how the drums worked conceptually - as much as it was also the playing side of things. This started to really expand particularly on the recordings for the albums Atavachron and Sand.
I would love to elaborate on all these periods. Perhaps in the form of a book sometime.
Jumping to the more recent years, from 2000 on, a lot was starting to deteriorate and crumble in Allan's life. This had started to manifest in the form of a growing acceleration in alcohol consumption. And this would be influencing everything from this point onwards.
I was party to a lot I cannot and will not divulge in a Facebook post. All of us were - all who worked together with Allan. And from that point, we were starting to become very concerned.
What would also start to materialise with Allan was a deterioration of creativity.
Allan's marriage collapsed catastrophically, and this brought even more excesses. Nevertheless, his playing was always central and his fleeting fluidity always still apparent. But from this point he was no longer in any way sober on gigs.
The details of our years with him since - the self-medicating his ever increasing, spiralling and perpetually heightening suffering are, as I clarified, not for these pages. All I can say is that as I always promised him, I was always at the other end of a phone. Always there.
This would never be enough. And it became inevitable to me that Allan was fast-tracking towards more and more emotional destitution.
Fast forwarding to the most recent and last time I would get to perform with Allan, in 2014 along with Jimmy Haslip I was aware - for the first time ever - things were definitely no longer well with him also as a musician. The self-medication had accumulated significantly, and I was mortified to discover this was now, finally, becoming very apparent in his playing.
From this point, and through many unpleasant extra-musical episodes and manifestations later it has been tragically apparent and somewhat inevitable that drastic measures would have to be sought. But, as ever, the closer we were, to Allan, ultimately the more ineffective we proved to be.
And so, now the moment I/we all feared, dreaded and anticipated has arrived. In all it's dreadful sadness, the story has come to a close.
I have a feeling I will never again recognise musical endeavour in quite the same way without my brother Allan Holdsworth in this world. I will just have to hang on to it - keep in constant touch with my little part in the legacy of his trajectory, our shared one, the seed of that creation and keep the essence well in tact, together with us all that've been through many years in music with this genius. I guess I'm speaking for all Allan's players - from way back, to my times starting it with him, through the decades and even into these last few years.
I pray with all my heart, my brother, that your suffering is eased and healed. I pray that your passage, into eternity, will be now smooth and complete.
You'll always be such a huge part of me, dear Allan. I love you, and I always will love you."
