Το ξεθάβω για να διασκεδάσετε με το χάλι μου.
Η κατάσταση: Αγορά κιθάρας από ebay.com στις 24/11. Πληρώνω άμεσα και περιμένω.
Τρεις-τέσσερις μέρες μετά...
(με τα italics: εγώ, με τα bold o ένας και μοναδικός...DOUG!)
Sit back and enjoy:
-Hi there,
just wanted to know whether you have shipped the guitar or not, as it's been a while and I had no word from you.
Hope everything's taken good care of.
I assume you have recieved payment in time.
Regards,
-I will send it out tomorrow . Doug
(Γαμώ τους ομιλητικούς, ε; Αφήνω άλλες δυο μέρες...)
-Hello again Doug,
have you shipped the guitar? Could you please give me its tracking number?
Regards,
(Άφαντος. Αρχίζω να σαλτάρω)
-ARE
YOU
THERE?
-I had to have surgery on my nose so I wasant able to send It. sorry about the delay . I will have it sent out monday. Doug.
(Ξέρω ότι με φιδιάζεις αλλά θα παραμείνω ευγενικός για να με συμπαθήσουν οι τύποι του Resolution Center ;D ;D ;D)
-Hope you'll get better soon.
Keep me updated please!
Best wishes
(Περνά καμιά βδομάδα...)
-Hi there Doug,
do we have any news on the guitar yet?
I regret to announce that if I have not recieved the parcel tracking number by Saturday 00:00 local time I will open a case immediately.
I sincerely hope I have not paid for a ghost guitar, and above all I hope the whole nose surgery story is not fake.
Nevertheless, I'm almost done waiting.
(Με τρομάζω όταν αγριεύω. Αυτά διαβάζει ο evris και έχει ονειρώξεις μετά) 8)
-yes I can send it out tomorrow I had the splints taken out today. Dont worry its a real guitar . Sorry again about the delay
-here is a photo of the customs receipt. attached
(Όντως επισυνάπτει φωτό)
-Fine!
What it its tracking number?
(Ακολουθεί απάντηση-που δε βρίσκω τώρα- που εν ολίγοις λέει ότι δεν υπάρχει tracking number...αν και είχα σαφώς ζητήσει USPS Priority με tracking, insurance etc)
Και έρχεται η ζεν απάντηση:
-Aha.
And I assume I'll have to go fishing somewhere in the Atlantic in case the guitar gets lost.
Who will be held responsible then? Bad karma?
If only I knew before I placed that bid...
Fair enough, seems like I'll have to play the waiting game some more...
-I'm sorry I fucking sent it.
-SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE
-A(ss)hole
(Έχω ήδη μείνει φυτό με τον τύπο, έχω τόσα νεύρα που δε βλέπω να γράψω στο keyboard. Επανέρχεται αυτόκλητα όμως!)
-Listen, you have no Idea how stressed out i am over this stupid guitar, Im peeing blood now. youre sorry about this you hate to inform me of that, bullshit you couldnt wait to get on your computer to tell me you were going to file a claim. Im sorry i sent it now. I hope It does end up in the ocean you can get some karma.
(και τώρα Η αναλαμπή! Πάλι χωρίς να έχω απαντήσει κάτι)
-The morons at the post office told me there was no tracking number . My brother says you can use the customs number on the top of the recipt i sent you a picture of. the number is ********
:o :o :o :o :o :o ::) ::) ::) ::) :P :P :P ;D ;D
(Δυο μέρες μετά, αφού η πίεση έχει υποχωρήσει απ'το 30)
-This number seems to be working. Says the package left the States yesterday.
Besides, I think you were rather rude to me Doug. Didn't deserve it I daresay...I made sure I was very polite at all times.
If you get in my shoes you 'll understand that I'm left with no tracking number, no info on the guitar I purchased, with pretty much no word from you unless I tried to reach you first, and with no guitar after many many days.
Moreover, I do want to believe you underwent that surgery but how can I be certain? Even you would think it might be an excuse if you were in my position.
Anyway, I hope the whole situation will soon be over.
-I hope it arrives OK (μεγαλόψυχε Doug, άφες ημίν...)
Το δια ταύτα; Η κιθάρα είναι ακόμα μακριά μου, αλλά τουλάχιστον σήμερα εμφανίζεται στο site της USPS ως "into foreign customs"...
Το συμπέρασμα μου είναι πως δε θα ξαναμπλέξω εύκολα με ιδιώτη, ακόμα κι αν πρόκειται για κάποιον με pedigree 4 γενεών.